Untitled
5 years ago
You Lose Something
For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If one day....
if one day you feel like crying... Call me.
I don't promise that I will make you laugh,
But i can cry with you...
if one day you want to run away from your world..
Don't be afraid to call me...
I don't promise to ask you to stop...
But I can run with you...
If one day you don't want to listen to anyone... Call me.
I promise to be there for you and I pormise to be very quiet.
But if one day you call me and there is no answer..
Come fast to see me..
Perhaps I need you...
I don't promise that I will make you laugh,
But i can cry with you...
if one day you want to run away from your world..
Don't be afraid to call me...
I don't promise to ask you to stop...
But I can run with you...
If one day you don't want to listen to anyone... Call me.
I promise to be there for you and I pormise to be very quiet.
But if one day you call me and there is no answer..
Come fast to see me..
Perhaps I need you...
How Important
How can you spell "N_CE" without "I"?
"POL_TE" without "I"?
How can you "SM_LE" without "I"?
How can you "W_SH" without "I"?
See, "I" am very important to you...
Funny Definitions
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Boss is someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Life Insurance - A contract that keeps you Poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Boss is someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Life Insurance - A contract that keeps you Poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Key to Failure
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
- Bill Cosby
Just Wondering
A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multi-colored hair that's green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of rags, his legs are bare and he's without shoes. His face and ears are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for about ten miles. Finally the punk gets self conscious and spits at the old man: "What'er you starin' at you old fart, didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?!"
Without missing a beat the old man replies: "Yeah. Back when I was in the Navy I got real drunk and screwed a parrot. I'm just wondering you were my son."
How to Recruit the Right Person for the Right Job?
Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyze the situation..
If they are counting the bricks, Put them in the
Accounts Department.
If they are recounting again and again, Put them in
Auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, Put them in
Engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in
Planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in
Operations.
If they are sleeping, Put them in
Security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in
Information Technology.
If they are sitting idle, Put them in
Human Resources.
If they say they have tried different combination, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in
Sales.
If they have already left for the day, Put them in
Marketing.
If they are staring out of the window, Put them on
Strategic Planning.
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved,
Congratulate them and put them in
Top Management
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyze the situation..
If they are counting the bricks, Put them in the
Accounts Department.
If they are recounting again and again, Put them in
Auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, Put them in
Engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in
Planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in
Operations.
If they are sleeping, Put them in
Security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in
Information Technology.
If they are sitting idle, Put them in
Human Resources.
If they say they have tried different combination, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in
Sales.
If they have already left for the day, Put them in
Marketing.
If they are staring out of the window, Put them on
Strategic Planning.
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved,
Congratulate them and put them in
Top Management
